It’s that time again! Yes, it’s December so it’s time for receiving annual gifts that no one wants: Fruit cakes, holiday sweaters and “news” that Apple has cut iPhone orders.

Writing for the goblin-infested warren of ancient dwarf mines that hides an unspeakable darkness (not a balrog, but a guy who writes about things like how surprisingly tolerable it is to fly economy class, which is demonstrably worse than a balrog) known as Business Insider, Matt Weinberger details the collapse.

“CREDIT SUISSE: Apple’s newest iPhone is underperforming, but a mini iPhone could save the day.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

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