Hey, does anyone need an object lesson in why you shouldn’t draw too many conclusions from Apple rumors?

That’s a rhetorical question. Because some people need one. Bad.

Have you heard about this upcoming “smartphone” from Apple called…

[Pretends to check notes but doesn’t really. In fact, there are no notes, the Macalope is flipping through the most recent issue of Ungulant Quarterly.]

…the “iPhone 8”? Maybe you have, it has been lightly mentioned in the Apple press of late and hahahaha, no, it’s all pundits talk about.

If you have then you probably know that the iPhone 8 is in big trouble. There are so many ways in which it in very verifiable and easy-to-show trouble, but let’s look at two in particular.

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